It has been proven over and over. Statistical data, case studies, psychologists, and even FBI Profilers show us the connection over and over again, and yet animal abuse crimes are not given nearly the weight that human crimes are given. Animal abuse clearly illustrates a lack of respect for life and some deep rooted psychological damage.

If you break it down to its bare essentials:
"Abusing an animal is a way for a human to find power/joy/fulfillment through the torture of a victim they know cannot defend itself."

Now break down a human crime, say rape. If we substitute a few pronouns, it's the SAME THING.
"Rape is a way for a human to find power/joy/fulfillment through the torture of a victim they know cannot defend themselves."

Now try it with, say, domestic abuse such as child abuse or spousal abuse:
"Child abuse is a way for a human to find power/joy/fulfillment through the torture of a victim they know cannot defend themselves."

Do you see the pattern here?

The line separating an animal abuser from someone capable of committing human abuse is much finer than most people care to consider. People abuse animals for the same reasons they abuse people. Some of them will stop with animals, but enough have been proven to continue on to commit violent crimes to people that it's worth paying attention to.

Virtually every serious violent offender has a history of animal abuse in their past, and since there's no way to know which animal abuser is going to continue on to commit violent human crimes, they should ALL be taken that seriously. FBI Supervisory Special Agent Allen Brantley was quoted as saying "Animal cruelty... is not a harmless venting of emotion in a healthy individual; this is a warning sign..." It should be looked at as exactly that. Its a clear indicator of psychological issues that can and often DO lead to more violent human crimes.

History is full of high-profile examples:

• Patrick Sherrill, who killed 14 coworkers at a post office and then shot himself, had a history of stealing local pets and allowing his own dog to attack and mutilate them.
• Earl Kenneth Shriner, who raped, stabbed, and mutilated a 7-year-old boy, had been widely known in his neighborhood as the man who put firecrackers in dogs’ rectums and strung up cats.
• Brenda Spencer, who opened fire at a San Diego school, killing two children and injuring nine others, had repeatedly abused cats and dogs, often by setting their tails on fire.
• Albert DeSalvo, the "Boston Strangler" who killed 13 women, trapped dogs and cats in orange crates and shot arrows through the boxes in his youth.
• Carroll Edward Cole, executed for five of the 35 murders of which he was accused, said his first act of violence as a child was to strangle a puppy.
• In 1987, three Missouri high school students were charged with the beating death of a classmate. They had histories of repeated acts of animal mutilation starting several years earlier. One confessed that he had killed so many cats he’d lost count. Two brothers who murdered their parents had previously told classmates that they had decapitated a cat.
• Serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer had impaled dogs’ heads, frogs, and cats on sticks.

More recently, high school killers such as 15-year-old Kip Kinkel in Springfield, Ore., and Luke Woodham, 16, in Pearl, Miss., tortured animals before embarking on shooting sprees. Columbine High School students Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, who shot and killed 12 classmates before turning their guns on themselves, bragged about mutilating animals to their friends.

The Whole Picture

As powerful a statement the above examples make, they don't even begin to scratch the surface of the whole truth behind the abuse connection. The fact is that the examples above are only the ones that are sensational enough to make the news. These are the high-profile cases that many animal welfare organizations use to drive their point home, but the reality is that this pattern has shown itself over and over again in much less "news-worthy" cases. One might argue that they in fact, lessen the impact, because it makes this connection appear to be something that only exists in serial killers and "psychos", when in fact its very likely that everyone reading these words knows someone who has abused animals.

Surely you know at least one person who suffers from child-abuse, or is beaten by their spouse...

• In 88 percent of 57 New Jersey families being treated for child abuse, animals in the home had been abused.
• Of 23 British families with a history of animal neglect, 83 percent had been identified by experts as having children at risk of abuse or neglect.
• In one study of battered women, 57 percent of those with pets said their partners had harmed or killed the animals. One in four said that she stayed with the batterer because she feared leaving the pet behind.

Because the household pet is often used as a control device to keep the abused from seeking help, some shelters have developed programs to assist in these situations. Programs like Rancho Coastal Humane Society's Animal Safehouse Program allows women to leave their animals in foster care while they seek medical attention, counseling and help. If you're interested in finding out more about starting an Animal Safehouse Program, e-mail oppelt@rchumanesociety.org">Patti Oppelt at RCHS for more information.

What Can be Done?

Its typical for young children to experiment with abusive behavior towards animals. Most of them learn through teachers, social situations, and good parenting that abuse is wrong, and the child discontinues the abusive behavior. This is a fairly critical time, in my opinion, and if any one of those corrective elements is missing, that child is high risk for potentially becoming more abusive later on. As said by Anthropologist Margaret Mead, "One of the most dangerous things that can happen to a child is to kill or torture an animal and get away with it".

There are things that can be done. Be sure to stop by the Prevent section to read some of our suggestions on how you can get involved, and how small things you can do now will help to raise your children to be caring adults.

"While animal abuse is an important sign of child abuse, the parent isn't always the one harming the animal. Children who abuse animals may be repeating a lesson learned at home; like their parents, they are reacting to anger or frustration with violence. Their violence is directed at the only individual in the family more vulnerable than themselves: an animal. One expert says, "Children in violent homes are characterized by ... frequently participating in pecking-order battering," in which they may maim or kill an animal. Indeed, domestic violence is the most common background for childhood cruelty to animals."
(quote from the PETA Media Center - http://www.peta-online.org/mc/facts/fsc24.html)

If YOU Know the Connection.... Educate Others

Educating others about the abuse connection isn't as hard as you might think. You don't have to stand up on a soapbox and preach to get people to listen - in fact, there are other ways to get people's attention that will often be more effective.

Because of people's varying views (and tolerance) on animal welfare and animal rights issues, yelling about an issue at the top of your lungs will often turn more people OFF to listening to you than it will make you heard. As the saying goes "You get more flies with honey than vinegar". This can often prove true with animal-related issues, especially when you are trying to reach the broader public (i.e. - people who would not normally be active in animal issues.)

Sometimes just wearing a t-shirt or button with an interesting expression on it will cause people to come up to YOU and ask what it means. This situation is ideal, because people do not feel like you're preaching to them, since they were the ones who asked you in the first place. You may be surprised how conversations can start that provide you with a great way to educate others, simply by wearing something related to the grocery store, the beach, waiting for your car to get serviced - anywhere. In fact, we at Pet-Abuse.Com wear our Pet-Abuse.Com sweatshirt every Sunday to our local Dog Beach, and at least once that day - without fail - someone will come up to us and ask us about it.

And yes - we realize that our statement above may come off sounding like some cheesy self-promotional schpeil to get you to buy a t-shirt - but its not. No one was more surprised than we were when we began to see how many people would walk up to us and talk to us about it. Sometimes it was the Martin Luthur King quote on the back that got their attention, and other times it was was photo or the text on the front. (One woman actually made us hold still while she *photographed* it!)

If you've used this more "subtle" way of educating the public, we'd love to hear your stories. Send us an email at connection@pet-abuse.com and tell us about it!

There are a number of additional websites with excellent information on the abuse connection, so be sure to check out the Abuse Connection links.

JUNE 3, 2004 - Update from Sox's adoptive family. Everything is very well with Sox, its been 5 months and we are still in the honeymoon stage...we love him to death!!! Everyday we ask each other how his old family could have given him away, how much they must miss his funny ways!!! Amazing character in this little guy! Although their grocery bill is lower I`m sure, and I`m not talking dog food!!! As you can see, he's put on weight, but not by our doing...on purpose at least!!! No matter how much we think we have 'SOX-PROOFED' our home, he somehow proves us wrong. Aside from his usual stealing of Allies food, in the last (lets go with 3 weeks) he's found 2lbs of raw stew meat thawing on counter, 3 chicken strips cooling, 3/4 loaf of banana bread, 3 hot dog buns, 1/2 box of RITZ and he got down, but didn`t have a taste for, a loaf of sourdough bread. Also got into my husband's zipped up lunch bag and pulled out a tupperware container and chewed the heck out of the lid to get into it just to lick out the empty stew container. My cat food bill has doubled AT LEAST since we got him too! My poor cat now has to go through a maze to get to her food! We have caught him in the act on the cat food, but we haven't figured out the kitchen counter yet. We have started setting up a video camera when we go out, but haven`t caught anything yet. That was just lately, lots of loaves before, a whole blueberry pie (we had to laugh when we came home and there were blue dog paw prints all over the counter and an almost empty pie dish!). Crazy boy! Oh yeah, that picture was taken at a friends cabin on Watch Lake 2 weeks ago. She owns 80acres on the lake. There were 5 dogs and 7 people, and when we were playing card games, we look over and he was on top of the table eating our snacks!!! The Labs and Mastiffs didn`t touch anything, but we had to watch the little 15 in. Beagle!!! He had a great time, they all did, but Sox was chasing deer and rabbits...a real hunter. When we took him to our vet when we just got him, he weighed 24 lbs. and Allie was 36 lbs. Now he's 29lbs and Allie's 33. We`ve moved him onto Allie's low fat food now! Mixed with a little of his senior stuff. Getting him has been good for Allie too, because he HAS to be taken to the off leash park AT LEAST once a day or he makes our life hell! So Allie has lost weight too. Its all good, even with the food stealing, we wouldn`t change a thing. We`re so happy we got him. We set up a video trap on the kitchen counter and finally caught him ...its hilarious!!! Agile little doggy I tell you! I can't imagine what kind of puppy he was, Allie was a handful then and she`s so mellow now. We SO wish we had a pic of him when he was a puppy because the first thing everyone notices on him is his grey face, it would be weird to see him without it. No matter what the reason was for giving him up, I`m telling you, he left a huge void in their lives that they probably didn`t notice until he was gone. All my friends are in love with him... they want to steal him!!! Everyone has always thought Allie was great, but anyone that meets Sox, he just leaves such an impression on you, hard to explain. I think it's a SPCA thing. People I talk to at the dogpark say the same thing, if they have a dog from a puppy, and also a SPCA dog, there really is a difference in the two. They tend to prefer the SPCA personality...it's like the SPCA dog knows how bad it can be and they appreciate everything. Allies a dramatic, pampered little princess, and I wouldn`t change her for the world, but Sox just rolls with the punches! I have to tell you though, on the separation anxiety, Sox has it HUGE!!! When my husband steps outside our front door to have a cigarette, Sox lies at the door, nose crammed in the crease, and whines the whole 3 minutes he's out there. And when the four of us are driving around, I will jump out to mail a letter or run into a store, Jay, Allie and Sox stay in the car and Sox whines and cries the whole time I`m gone. We usually don`t close the bathroom door anymore because he will cry if he wants to see you and can`t. Its so sad. But on the other hand, he`ll go upstairs and get into bed hours before us. We think that's because he's so excited to be allowed to sleep in a bed with us and he wants a jump start on getting the best spot! (His old owners must have gone to bed early. Poor guy, I stay up till 2AM min.!) I do think he somehow understands that when I put on my work uniform, and give them their "we`re going out" treat, that I am coming back because I don`t think he whines that much then. ...he's always up in bed when we get home. I told you about catching him on video getting on the counter. Well since I knew better, I put a pannini bun on top of the water cooler that I needed to thaw...low and behold, I come home 15 minutes later...pannini bun GONE!!! I better not have kids because I can`t seem to get ahead of these doggy games!!!

DOG PROPERTY LAWS

1. If I like it, it's mine.

2. If it's in my mouth, it's mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

6. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.

7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.

8. If I saw it first, it's mine.

9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

10. If it's broken, it's yours.

This was posted on AAS, and I thought it was worth sharing. I think anyone considering getting a dog should read this!

Poor Little Rich Dog
Ernie is healthy, wealthy, and abused.
By Jon Katz
Posted Monday, July 19, 2004, at 5:12 AM PT

Ernie, a fluffy, 10-week-old golden retriever with heart-melting eyes, was originally a birthday present. The lucky recipient was Danielle, a pony-tailed 11-year-old living in an affluent Westchester, N.Y., suburb.

Danielle's passions for some time had been soccer, Justin Timberlake, and instant messaging, but her parents wanted to give her a different kind of birthday gift, "something that you didn't plug in or watch, something that would give her a sense of responsibility." She'd often said she'd love a puppy and vowed to take care of it.

Girl and dog, growing up together—what parent hasn't pictured it? Her folks envisioned long family walks around the neighborhood, Ernie frolicking on the lawn while they gardened. They could see him riding along to soccer games.

Acquiring a dog completed the portrait that had been taking shape for several years, beginning with the family's move to the suburbs from Brooklyn. The package included a four-bedroom colonial, a lawn edged with flowering shrubs, a busy sports schedule, a Volvo wagon and a Subaru Outback to ferry the kids around. A dog—a big, beautiful hunting breed—came with the rest of it, increasingly as much a part of the American dream as the picket fence or the car with high safety ratings.

So Danielle's parents found a breeder online with lots of awards, cooed over the adorable pictures, and mailed off a deposit on a pup. They drove to Connecticut and returned to surprise Danielle on her birthday, just hours before her friends were due for a celebratory sleepover.

It was love at first sight. Danielle and her friends spent hours passing the adorable puppy from one lap to another. Ernie slept with her that night. Over the next two or three weeks, she spent hours cuddling with him, playing tug of war, and tossing balls while her parents took photos.

But the dog did not spark greater love of the outdoors or diminish her interest in television, iPod, computer, and cell phone. Nor did his arrival slow down Danielle's demanding athletic schedule; with practices, games, and victory celebrations, soccer season took up three or four afternoons a week. Anyway, she didn't find the shedding, slobbering, chewing, and maturing Ernie quite as cute as the new-puppy version.

Both of Danielle's parents worked in the city and rarely got home before 7 p.m. on weekdays. The household relied on a nanny/housekeeper from Nicaragua who wasn't especially drawn to dogs and viewed Ernie as stupid, messy, and, as he grew larger and more restive, mildly frightening.

Because nobody was home during the day, he wasn't housebroken for nearly two months and even then, not completely. No single person was responsible for him; nobody had the time, will, or skill to train him.

As he went through the normal stages of retriever development—teething, mouthing, racing frantically around the house, peeing when excited, offering items the family didn't want retrieved, eating strange objects and then vomiting them up—the casualties mounted. Rugs got stained, shoes chewed, mail devoured, table legs gnawed. The family rejected the use of a crate or kennel—a valuable calming tool for young and energetic dogs—as cruel. Instead, they let the puppy get into all sorts of trouble, then scolded and resented him for it. He was "hyper," they complained, "wild," "rambunctious." The notion of him as annoying and difficult became fixed in their minds; perhaps in his as well.

A practiced trainer would have seen, instead, a golden retriever that was confused, under-exercised, and untrained—an ironic fate for a dog bred for centuries to be calm and responsive to humans.

Ernie did not attach to anybody in particular—an essential element in training a dog. Because he never quite understood the rules, he became increasingly anxious. He was reprimanded constantly for jumping on residents and visitors, for pulling and jerking on the leash when walked. Increasingly, he was isolated when company came or the family was gathered. He was big enough to drag Danielle into the street by now, so her parents and the housekeeper reluctantly took over. His walks grew brief: outside, down the block until he did his business, then home. He never got to run much.

Complaining that he was out of control, the family tried fencing the back yard and putting Ernie outside during meals to keep him from bothering them. The nanny stuck him there most of the day as well, because he messed up the house. Allowed inside at night, he was largely confined to the kitchen, sealed off by child gates.

The abandonment and abuse of dogs is an enormous issue in the animal rights movement, and quite properly. There are, by U.S. Humane Society estimates, as many as 10 million dogs languishing in shelters; the majority will be euthanized. But Ernie is an abused dog, too.

Nobody is likely to talk much about Ernie, the kind of dog I saw frequently while researching several books. His abusers aren't lowlifes who mercilessly beat, starve, or tether animals. Quite the opposite: His owners are affluent, educated people who consider themselves humanistic and moral. But they've been cruel nonetheless, through their lack of responsibility, their neglect, their poor training, and their inattention.

I've seen Ernie numerous times over the past two years. I've watched him become more detached, neurotic, and unresponsive. I've seen the soul drain from the dog's eyes.

He's affectionate and unthreatening, but he doesn't really know how to behave—not around his family or other people, not around other animals, not around me or my dogs. He lunges and barks almost continuously when anyone comes near, so few of us do. Increasingly, he gets confined to his back yard, out of sight and mind.

This family was shocked and outraged when I suggested that the dog was suffering from a kind of abuse and might be better off in a different home. "Nobody hits that dog," sputtered Danielle's father. "He gets the best dog food, he gets all his shots." All true.

But he lacks what is perhaps the most essential ingredient in a dog's life: a human who will take emotional responsibility for him.

Sadly, I see dogs like Ernie all the time, victims of a new, uniquely American kind of abuse, animals without advocates. Dogs like Flash, a Westchester border collie who spent her days chasing invisible sheep beyond a chain link fence, and Reg, an enormous black Lab in Atlanta who, like Ernie, was untrained, grew neurotic and rambunctious, and eventually was confined to the family playroom day and night. He leaves that room for several brief walks each day.

Who knows how many Ernies and Regs there are in urban apartments and suburban backyards? Few media outlets or animals rights groups would classify a $1,200 purebred as a candidate for rescue. In fact, I've contacted rescue groups to see if they could help; they were sympathetic, but they felt more comfortable with traditional kinds of abuse. A situation like this—emotional mistreatment is not illegal—was beyond their purview.

I understand, but Ernie haunts me. He may be the most abused dog I know.

Jon Katz's next book, The Dogs of Bedlam Farm: An adventure with three dogs, sixteen sheep, two donkeys and me will be published in October. He can be e-mailed at jdkat3@aol.com .

http://slate.msn.com/id/2103801#ContinueArticle

If I Can Stop One Heart From Breaking
- Emily Dickenson

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin,
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

One SONG can spark a moment
One FLOWER can wake the dream
One TREE can start a forest
One BIRD can herald spring
One SMILE begins a friendship
One HANDCLASP lifts a soul
One STAR can guide a ship at sea
One WORD can frame the goal
One VOTE can change a nation
One SUNBEAM lights a room
One CANDLE wipes out darkness
One LAUGH will conquer gloom
One STEP must start each journey
One WORD must start a prayer
One HOPE will raise our spirits
One TOUCH can show you care
One VOICE can speak with wisdom
One HEART can know what is true
One VOICE can make a difference

Unknown

We have a fox terrier by the name of Jasper. He came to us in the summer of 2001 from the fox terrier rescue program. For those of you, who are unfamiliar with this type of adoption, imagine taking in a 10 year old child whom you know nothing about and committing to doing your best to be a good parent. Like a child, the dog came with his own idiosyncrasies.

He will only sleep on the bed, on top of the covers, nuzzled as close to my face as he can get without actually performing a French kiss on me. Lest you think this is a bad case of 'no discipline,' I should tell you that Perry and I tried every means to break him of this habit including locking him in a separate bedroom for several nights. The new door cost over $200. But I digress.

Five weeks ago we began remodeling our house. Although the cost of the project is downright obnoxious, it was 20 years overdue AND it got me out of cooking Thanksgiving for family, extended family, and a lot of friends that I like more than family most of the time. I was assigned the task of preparing 124 of my famous yeast dinner rolls for the two Thanksgiving
feasts we did attend. I am still cursing the electrician for getting the new oven hooked up so quickly. It was the only appliance in the whole darn house that worked, thus the assignment. I made the decision to cook the rolls on Wed evening to reheat Thurs am.

Since the kitchen was freshly painted, you can imagine the odor. Not wanting the rolls to smell like Sherwin Williams latex paint #586, I put the rolls on baking sheets and set them in the living room to rise for 5 hours. After 3 hours, Perry and I decided to go out to eat, returning in about an hour.. An hour later the rolls were ready to go in the oven.

It was 8:30 PM. When I went to the living room to retrieve the pans, much to my shock one whole pan of 12 rolls was empty. I called out to Jasper and my worst nightmare became a reality. He literally wobbled over to me. He looked like a combination of the Pillsbury dough boy and the Michelin Tire man wrapped up in fur. He groaned when he walked. I swear even his cheeks were bloated.

I ran to the phone and called our vet. After a few seconds of uproarious laughter, he told me the dog would probably be OK, however, I needed to give him Pepto Bismol every 2 hours for the rest of the night. God only knows why I thought a dog would like Pepto Bismol any more than my kids did when they were sick. Suffice it to say that by the time we went to bed the dog was black, white and pink. He was so bloated we had to lift him onto the bed for the night. Naively thinking the dog would be all better by morning was very stupid on my part.

We arose at 7:30 and as we always do first thing; put the dog out to relieve himself. Well, the darn dog was as drunk as a sailor on his first leave. He was running into walls, falling flat on his butt and most of the time when he was walking his front half was going one direction and the other half was either dragging the grass or headed 90 degrees in another direction. He couldn't lift his leg to pee, so he would just walk and pee at the same time. When he ran down the small incline in our back yard he couldn't stop himself and nearly ended up running into the fence. His pupils were dilated and he was as dizzy as a loon. I endured another few seconds of laughter from the vet (second call within 12 hours) before he explained that the yeast had fermented in his belly and that he was indeed drunk. He assured me that, not unlike most binges we humans go through, it would wear off after about 4 or 5 hours and to keep giving him Pepto Bismol.

Afraid to leave him by himself in the house, Perry and I loaded him up and took him with us to my sister's house for the first Thanksgiving meal of the day. My sister lives outside of Muskogee on a ranch, (10 to 15 minute drive). Rolls firmly secured in the trunk (124 less 12) and drunk dog leaning from the back seat onto the console of the car between Perry and I, we took off. Now I know you probably don't believe that dogs burp, but believe me when I say that after eating a tray of risen unbaked yeast rolls, DOGS WILL BURP. These burps were pure Old Charter. They would have matched or beat any smell in a drunk tank at the police station. But that's not the worst of it. Now he was beginning to fart and they smelled like baked rolls. God strike me dead if I am not telling the truth! We endured this for the entire trip to Karen's, thankful she didn't live any further away than she did. Once Jasper was firmly placed in my sister's garage with the door locked, we finally sat down to enjoy our first Thanksgiving meal of the day. The dog was the topic of conversation all morning long and everyone made trips to the garage to witness my drunken dog, each returning with a tale of Jasper's latest endeavor to walk without running into something. Of course, as the old adage goes, "what goes in must come out" and Jasper was no exception.

Granted if it had been me that had eaten 12 risen, unbaked yeast rolls,you might as well have put a concrete block up my behind, but alas a dog's digestive system is quite different from yours or mine. I discovered this
was a mixed blessing when we prepared to leave Karen's house. Having discovered his "packages" on the garage floor, we loaded him up in the car so we could hose down the floor. This was another naive decision on our part.. The blast of water from the hose hit the poop on the floor and the poop on the floor withstood the blast from the hose. It was like Portland cement beginning to set up and cure. We finally tried to remove it with a shovel. I (obviously no one else was going to offer their services) had to get on my hands and knees with a coarse brush to get the remnants off of the floor. And as if this wasn't degrading enough, the darn dog in his drunken state had walked through the poop and left paw prints all over the garage floor that had to be brushed too. Well, by this time the dog was sobering up nicely so we took him home and dropped him off before we left for our second Thanksgiving dinner at Perry's sister's house.

I am happy to report that as of today (Monday) the dog is back to normal both in size and temperament. He has had a bath and is no longer tricolor. None the worse for wear I presume. I am also happy to report that just this evening I found 2 risen unbaked yeast rolls hidden
inside my closet door. It appears he must have come to his senses after eating 10 of them but decided hiding 2 of them for later would not be a bad idea. Now, I'm doing
research on the computer as to: "How to clean unbaked dough from the Carpet."

And how was your day?

What are the steps in accepting personal responsibility?
Step 1: To decide if you are having problems accepting personal responsibility, answer the following questions in your journal:

a. How frequently do you claim that others have determined what you are today?

b. How easy is it to accept that you are responsible for your choices in life?

c. How easy it is to believe that you determine the direction your life takes?

d. How easy is it to blame others for where you are today?

e. What masks do you hide behind to avoid accepting personal responsibility?

f. How rational are you in dealing with the part you played in being who you are today?

g. How easy is it to accept blame or admit mistakes?

h. How easy is it to accept that you determine your feelings when negative events occur?

i. How easy is it to depend solely on yourself for acceptance, affirmation, and approval?

j. How willing are you to be the sole determinant of the health of your self-esteem?

k. How frequently do you feel sorry for yourself?

l. How easy is it to let go of guilt if you stop rescuing those in your life?

m. How willingly do you take preventive steps to ensure your physical and emotional health?

n. How successfully have you practiced self-affirmation in your life?

o. How successfully have you practiced anger work out and letting go in order to get on with your life?

Step 2: Rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 5 as to the level of personal responsibility you have accepted in each of the following areas Use the following scale as you write in your journal.)

1 = always irresponsible

2 = usually irresponsible

3 = irresponsibility balanced out with responsibility (neutral)

4 = usually responsible

5 = always responsible

Rating Area in Life:

___ a. aking the preventive and maintenance measures to ensure physical health

___ b. Taking the preventive and maintenance measures to ensure emotional health

___ c. Controlling weight and over-eating

___ d. Stopping smoking, excessive drinking, and drug abuse.

___ e. Controlling excessive gambling, shopping, and sexual behavior

___ f. Controlling workaholism

___ g. Taking the preventive, and maintenance measures to ensure healthy relationships

___ h. Taking the necessary steps to overcome my current problems and troubles

___ i. Taking the necessary steps to protect myself from being victimized by my rescuing and enabling of others

___ j. Managing my time, managing the stress in my life, overcoming my fears, and preventing burnout in my life

Score: A rating of 3 or less in any of the areas indicates a need to accept personal responsibility.

Step 3: Identify your beliefs that prevent acceptance of responsibility for yourself. Develop new, rational, replacement beliefs to help you accept responsibility for yourself.

In order to accept personal responsibility you need to develop the ability to:

Seek out and to accept help for yourself.

Be open to new ideas or concepts about life and the human condition.

Refute irrational beliefs and overcome fears.

Affirm yourself positively.

Recognize that you are the sole determinant of the choices you make.

Recognize that you choose your responses to the people, actions, and events in your life.

Let go of anger, fear, blame, mistrust, and insecurity.

Take risks and to become vulnerable to change and growth in your life.

Take off the masks of behavior characteristics behind which you hide low self-esteem.

Reorganize your priorities and goals.

Realize that you are the party in charge of the direction your life takes.

What terms are used to describe those who have not accepted personal responsibility?

martyrs. self-pitying, depressed, losers, quitters,  chronically angry, dependent personalities, complainers, addictive personalities, blamers, stubborn,  persons in denial, troubled people, stuck, fearful, pessimists, despondent, mentally unstable, obstinate, hostile, aggressive, irresponsible, weak, guilt ridden, resistant to help, passive, irrational, insecure, neurotic, obsessed, lost